Marriage

Two weeks have passed since my dream day, the day I married my love. The ceremony and the reception, which I put hours into planning, went better than I ever could have dreamed. But here I am having the worst nightmare, about a wedding reception gone wrong.

The dream starts out with me entering the venue on the day of my wedding. Guests and staff are all milling around, and I look to discover that the floor plan is NOTHING like what I had confirmed with the coordinator. Our head table is not where it is supposed to be, and the guest tables are on the other side of a huge ballroom, with enough space to fit a lake between them. I try to explain to several people, but no one is listening to me. I run around trying to figure out where the coordinator is, but she does not show up until much much later. The DJ's are in the sound room, and when I ask if they have my playlist am completely ignored.

I spend the rest of the dream running around, screaming, crying and trying to get someone's attention. Finally it seems as though things are starting, when an unplanned (surprise) ballet performance begins in the center of the room. I find I am moved to tears by the music and the dance, but something isn't right. This is supposed to be a wedding, MY wedding. I ask someone to put a stop to the dance, and any other "surprises" so we can just get to the ceremony.

The dream ends.

I spent about two days wondering why I had this dream, when it dawned on me at church. There were a few things that stood out/really bothered me about the dream.

1) The groom was not there
2) No one was listening to, or paying attention to the Bride
3) The entertainment was distracting from, rather than highlighting, the event (a wedding)
4) The guests were seated at a great distance from the head table

With these things in mind, I believe my dream is a warning of sorts. When I was planning my literal wedding, it was easy to get consumed by all the little details and forget what the wedding was actually about - or WHO the wedding was about. In my dream, the absence of the groom created a lack of focus for me (the Bride) and caused little things to get blown out of proportion. No one was paying attention to the Bride on a day that was designed to center all the attention on her. Entertainment, no matter how moving, cannot replace the glory of the main show (in this case, the wedding program). The guests were kept at a distance, which is the exact opposite of how wedding feasts are designed to be - close and celebratory (nothing kills celebration like empty space).

Numerous times, in my own life and in watching other people, I have seen distractions take the place of the bridegroom - the Lord. And when we exclude or forget about Him, everything gets blown out of proportion (including our temper and ability to relate to other people).
It is so easy to tune out or ignore the bride, the Church, especially when she is temperamental, moody and a perfectionist. But if we look past all that, we would see her desire to create the perfect experience for her groom and the wedding guests. Sometimes we have to push through the undesirable experiences, those that test our true friendship, to share in the glory of the union.
Programs are not my friend, or are they? I have previously shared the opinion that programs put a dent in a Church service. To really experience what the Lord has, we need a free flow to what is happening and allowed to happen. But that isn't true, is it? As in my dream, sometimes the best events in our lives follow a program. Not a program that is constricting, but one that allows the true vision and objective to be accomplished. The dance in my dream, while very moving and inspiring, was not in the plan and distracted from God's vision - which was to see the Bride and Groom unite, and their unity celebrated. I have had my feelings hurt before because I thought I was supposed to sing something, read something, say something (etc.) and was told no. I was probably to hurt to re-evaluate later, but I'm sure if I looked back I would have found that the entire meeting did not end when I was told no. In fact, it might have only been better. Hard to imagine... yes. Impossible...no.
And last, but not least: while I thought about eloping, the one thing that kept me from executing that fleeting wish was celebrating with the most fun people on the planet - my family and friends. Big events are more often than not, better when experienced with people.